The Next Step
by Lazarus163
Summary: Sequel to: Some Ends Are The Beginning. After their third child is born, Buffy and Dean, along with the help of Sam, must stop the Leviathan. They are not only fighting a new evil, fresh from purgatory, but also family. Crowley has gotten a very powerful ally. Willow. Will they be able to rescue their friend and save the world? Or will they watch as everything turns to dust
1. Goodbye, Old Friend

Buffy held little Dean, as Dean had taken to calling him and looked at Joyce and Mary. Dean walked in and smiled.

"Daddy!" Mary shrieked, she got up and stumbled over to him. He got her and lifted her up in the air and twirled her around causing the one year old to giggle. Joyce just sat on the floor playing with her toys. Dawn walked in and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her brother-in-law.

"I thought you died!" She exclaimed before rushing over to hug him. He held her tightly,

"Nope, I made it out okay... But Cass didn't." Dawn nodded,

"Where's Sam?" Dean looked at the floor,

"Resting... Cass tore down the hell wall Death put up." In the other room Sam held held a pillow tightly over his head.

"And she's buying a stairway to heaven!" Lucifer sang off key, "isn't it great to have me back?" He asked, Sam was finally able to ignore him and drifted off. Though his dreams were plagued by his time in the cage.

"Can I go check on him?" Dawn asked, Dean nodded. It was apparently obvious to everyone that Sam and Dawn had something going on. Dawn walked out of the room. Buffy adjusted Dean in her arms and closed her eyes. The last few days had been a nightmare, Castiel had popped open purgatory, became God and then died, there was a chance Sam might die, no one had seen or heard from Giles, Crowley had been harassing Willow and Bobby wouldn't answer his phone's. Not to mention, Faith was still missing. Something big was going down. Buffy had a bad feeling and everyone new not to ignore them after what happened with Eve.

"Dean, do you think you could watch him?" Buffy asked, he nodded and set down Mary before taking little Dean. Buffy got up and walked outside and stood on the front porch. Something was seriously wrong. She could feel it in the air. She got crippling headache and she screamed,

 _Buffy watched as Dean and Cass faced down a man, Dick Roman to be precise. Dean had stabbed him but it didn't seem to have an affect._

 _"Looks like you little plan didn't work," he said. Dean smirked when Cass punched him in the face and stunned him._

 _"Nope, I just needed you distracted." Buffy watched as Dean drove the bone through the mans neck and his head started jerking violently from side to side. There was an increasing energy in the room and then a loud pop. Dean and Cass disappeared and Buffy crumbled, Sam looked on with Faith by his side. He knelt down next to Buffy and hugged her. Crowley appeared and two of his goons took a young Asian boy by the arms. Buffy stood up and growled._

 _"You! You knew this was going to happen! You wanted Dean out of the way so you could get to Kevin!" She punched him in the face and he glared at her._

 _"You give me to much credit, Buffy. But..." He slapped her hard and she smacked against a wall. He disappeared along with Kevin. Buffy let go of a sob._

Buffy woke up with a gasp on the couch. She looked around and saw Dawn holding little Dean and Dean sat grasping her hand. Dawn took him upstairs and let them be alone.

"Something is happening," she breathed. Everything rushed back to her and she had to make sure Dean was still there. She let go of a small sob,

"Buffy, what's wrong?" He asked, she took a deep breath and explained what she had seen. She began to cry harder and then she felt a small body crawl on top of her.

"Mommy!" Joyce exclaimed, "why cry?" Buffy hugged her daughter tightly.

"Because I had a bad dream sweetie," she said as she cast a look at Dean. It was as if to say "you are not leaving my sight." Dean slowly nodded but she knew deep down that he and Sam had to fix this mess. "Wanna go check on your little brother?" She asked, Joyce nodded and snuggled against Buffy. "Dean, can you bring Mary up with you?" Buffy asked, he nodded and scooped her up and she giggled.

"Daddy down!" She screeched,

"No, princess. It's bed time. I'll read you both a story." She nodded and rested her head against his shoulder. When Buffy opened the door she smiled. Dawn was holding little Dean who was dead asleep.

"Mommy," Mary pointed at him. "Baby little," she insisted. Buffy laughed and looked at Joyce.

"What do you think of your little brother?" She squinted,

"I like him." She said with a little shrug.

"Okay girls, Daddy is gonna read you bed time story while I talk to Auntie Dawn." Buffy handed her off to Dean and he took them to their room. Buffy took little Dean from Dawn and put him in his crib before turning on on the white noise machine. Dawn followed her out and downstairs.

"I can't believe they're already talking," Dawn said. Buffy nodded,

"I can't believe how well they can talk."

"Both their parents are very smart." Dawn then paused for a minute, "okay, kind of smart." Buffy flicked the side of her face.

"You were almost being nice, your going soft Dawnie." Buffy sat down on the couch and Dawn stood across from her.

"What happened Buffy?" Buffy explained everything to Dawn.

"Then he never leaves the house again. He can be a stay at home dad!" She then began to laugh, "we can get him an apron that says #1 dad on it." Buffy snorted and began laughing.

"If it were that easy he never would have gotten involved with that purgatory business." Upstairs Dean was tucking in Mary and Joyce. Joyce had stolen Mr. Gordo from Buffy when she was a month old and Sam had gotten Marry a teddy bear when she was six months.

"Goodnight girls, Daddy loves you." He kissed both their foreheads before leaving the room. As he closed the door Vi slammed him against the wall.

"I already have Buffy getting Dean. Get the girls and Sam then run." She said, he saw the blood and he did so. He burst into the girls room and grabbed them before kicking in the door to Sam's room.

"Sammy, we gotta go!" Dean barked, Sam shot up and ran with Dean. As they made it out of the house they heard Vi scream and she was thrown from the second story.

"What's going on?" Buffy asked, Vi pointed to the house where Crowley was standing and Buffy glared at him.

"Dean, Buffy, you have very beautiful children." He then stood outside, when he turned to face them the house erupted into flames. Dean held the girls tighter against him.

"The fuck do you want Crowley?"

"Willow!" He spat, "that's who I want!"

"Good luck finding her," Buffy taunted. Crowley smirked, he snapped his fingers and then held little Dean.

"You bring me the witch and you get your son back. Two days from now, midnight. If she doesn't come to me I will kill your son and then Dawn will die from stomach cancer. Isn't that right?" He made a fist and Dawn screamed in pain. Buffy's world crumbled when he disappeared.

"No... No!"

* * *

Dean knocked on the door and waited.

"It is 3:00 in the mornin'! If you ain't a Winchester you better get the hell off my property!" Bobby barked as he went to answer the door. When he opened it he held a 12gauge in his hands. When he saw Dean, Buffy, Mary, Joyce, Vi, and Sam carrying a very sick Dawn he dropped the gun. "Get in the house," he said. After drawing devils traps at every entrance and salting the doors and windows he turned look at them. "The hell happened?" He asked,

"Crowley, that son of bitch!" Dean yelled as he kicked a hole through Bobby's wall. Buffy was in tears and Dawn was vomiting blood.

"Where's little Dean?" Bobby asked, when no one said anything Bobby screamed. "That son of bitch took my grandson!"

"Sam!" Dean barked, "take the girls up to the spare room, get them in bed."

"Buffy," Bobby said. "Listen, we will get him back." Buffy didn't have the energy to nod. She just looked at the floor, her eyes still wide from shock. "Dean, there is a good bottle of whiskey in the cellar. Why don't you go get it." Dean walked away slowly.

"Bobby?" Dawn asked weakly, "are they gonna get him back?" Bobby shook his head.

"I don't know," he whispered.

* * *

Willow ran through the streets of London. Her powers got stripped, she was losing connections in the supernatural community fast and the little magic she did have was killing her if she used it. To say she was fucked was an understatement. She had fallen into the lions den and had gotten mauled.

"I need help," she said as she burst through the doors of a magic shop. The man working the counter looked up at her.

"Read the sign Miss, we're closed." Willow's eyes turned white.

"Crowley is after me, I need help!" She screamed,

"You won't get that here. Doesn't matter if the king of hell is after you or not. I don't want any business with it." He flicked his wrist and she found herself outside. She was in trouble. That's when she got a phone call.

"Dean?" She asked, she bit back a scream as she felt another wave of pain radiate from her shoulder.

"You need to turn yourself over to Crowley!" Dean barked,

"What? No, I-I can't do that."

"He took my son! He said if you don't turn yourself over he will kill him. So if you don't come to Bobby's I will track you down, I will find you and I will hand you over to Crowley myself." Dean said coldly,

"I'm in London." She said,

"Then we will fucking summon you!" Willow heard a howl in the distance followed by barking. "It's either us or those hell hounds." Dean said, Willow closed her eyes.

* * *

Bobby got the things for the spell together. Buffy still hadn't moved, she hadn't blinked, she hadn't made a sound. Her son was gone, her life was falling apart.

"Testor deos ad nos mitteret. O te peto. Ad nos! Spiritibus mortuorum ego." Bobby chanted as he dropped a match into a silver bowl. The blood and the herbs ignited and then Willow appeared in a puff of red smoke. Buffy finally picked her head up and looked at Willow. Willow nodded sadly. Buffy looked back down at the floor. Bobby summoned Crowley after Dean broke on of the lines of salt.

"Ah, Willow, how good it is to see you again." Crowley held little Dean in one arm.

"Give him back to them." She then looked at Dawn. "Give him back and fix Dawn and I will come with you." She felt weak. He snapped his fingers and Dawn looked much better, Dean practically tore little Dean away from him and the held Ruby's knife in front of him. There was a growling sound next to Crowley and Bobby cocked his shot gun. Dean handed little Dean to Buffy and then he and Sam stood in front of her and Dawn.

"Now, Willow... Won't you come with me?" Willow took a step forward and then coughed. Blood welled up in her throat and she stilled. She glared at Crowley. "Do I need to force you to move?" He walked closer to her and she spat blood in his face.

"That's for taking my nephew, you son of bitch." Everyone could tell that Willow was barely holding on.

"Last act of defiance?" Crowley asked as he wiped the blood away.

"Not even close," Willow challenged. He chuckled,

"You've all been a wonderful audience." He disappeared and so did Willow. Buffy hugged her son tightly against her and she sobbed. Dean sat next to her brought them into his arms.

* * *

Willow was pushed into a seat. She glared up at Crowley.

"What do you want from me? You already used that nifty little dagger that stripped almost all my magic, made it so my magic poisons me... You basically made me useless." She said, her voice extremely weak. He smiled at her,

"What I need from you... Is you. None of this good witch business. I want the Willow who skinned Warren alive. I want you on my team."

"No you don't Crowley," she said with certainty. "Because when that Willow comes out to play she will overthrow you." She warned,

"I highly doubt that."

"It's not gonna happen," she said. Crowley shrugged and made a few cuts on her stomach with a scalpel. Willow screamed,

"I can keep doing this. I didn't earn my reputation for nothing." He began to get creative. Six hours later after being healed and pushed to the brink of death over and over Willow finally gave in.

"Stop!" She screamed when stabbed a knife through her shoulder. He had heated it to the point the metal was red. He retracted it fast and smile with glee.

"See? I knew we could work this out. Now," he whistled and two guards walked in. They had a Shapeshifter that was in Tara's skin.

"Tara?" Willow asked, she watched as they shoved a dagger through her chest. With a little bit of magic the wound didn't sear and start to steam. The Shifter fell to the ground. "No!" Crowley was knocked backwards by an explosion of power and he smiled.

* * *

Dean and Buffy sat on one of the couches. He handed Buffy a glass of whiskey but she shook her head.

"We almost lost our son Dean." Buffy said, "we almost lost Dawn. Crowley is doing God knows what to Wills..." Dean set his glass down and pulled her into his arms. She rested her head against his chest. "Dean, he's only a few days old and he almost died tonight. What are we gonna do? Our kids are in danger." She whispered, he kissed the side of her head.

"Listen to me. We are gonna make it through this and what happened in your vision isn't gonna happen to me. I am not leaving you." He said, "or the kids. You're the only life I know now. Yeah, I'm hunter. But family comes first." He kissed her with everything he had. "I love you, Buffy."

"I love you too." She said quietly, when she heard little Dean cry she got up and went into the other room. She picked him up and began to feed him. Four days old and he had already been kidnapped. Bobby walked by and looked down.

"How ya doin' kid?" Buffy just sighed and turned around.

"My best friend is probably dead, my four day old son almost got murdered by a sadistic asshole, my sister almost died and I just realized I can't protect my family... Neither can Dean." She whispered,

"Buffy, if I know Dean, he will fight tooth and nail to protect you. Family means a lot more to him and Sam than anyone I have ever seen."

"It doesn't matter, Bobby. Should I send the kids to live with Dawn? Where they are actually safe?"

"Are you an idiot?!" Bobby asked harshly, "you ain't doin' that on my watch!" Buffy's eyes widened. "you're not doin' it on Dean's watch either." With that he walked away. Buffy didn't know what to think of him. In the two years she had known Bobby she had seen many sides of him and more just seemed to pop up. Grumpy old man, check. Raging alcoholic, check. Hunter who had seen way too much shit, double check. Over protective family patriarch, the list just kept growing. When little Dean was done she burped him before laying him down in his crib.

"I'm gonna try to get some sleep," Buffy said. Dean got up and walked over to her. He hugged her tightly.

"We are not losing this family, okay?" Buffy laid her head against his shoulder.

"I love you, Dean." She said as she looked up into his eyes. Buffy looked at his perfect lips, his chiseled jaw, like she was trying to memorize every single detail she could. He smiled down at her and she leaned up. He kissed her softly, holding the back of her head.

"I love you too, baby." He scooped her up in his arms and walked upstairs with her. He laid Buffy down gently before getting in bed next to her. He pulled her into his arms and she closed her eyes. Sleep over took them both. Sam looked in on them and then went down to talk with Bobby.

"They aren't doing good, Bobby."

"Why, did you expect them to be beamin' with joy? They almost lost their son ya idgit!" He slid a shot glass to Sam. "I would be really worried if they weren't drained." Sam knocked back his shot.

"I never thought I'd see the day. Dean, having a wife and kids." Sam said, he gave Bobby a look. "You know there is a chance I won't make it, right?" Sam asked, Bobby shook his head.

"I know, son." He said, "I know." He sighed and decided to move little Dean upstairs.

* * *

Jody looked around.

"Hey you're awake," her surgeon said.

"I feel like I got gutted like a fish." She complained, he took out a syringe and hooked it up to her IV tube.

"No, you just had an appendectomy. Here, this is morphine so you can rest comfortably." He said,

"You are a God among men," she said with a strained laugh.

"You've been in and out for a few hours," he told her. "So I'm giving you your second shot so you sleep and I will check on you later, okay?" She nodded.

* * *

"Mommy!" Joyce cried, Buffy rolled out of bed and ran into the other room. Joyce was crying and had a small red mark on the side of her head. She must have hit her head on the side of the crib. Mary was still asleep,

"Baby, what happened?" She asked, Joyce cried harder. Buffy picked her up and bounced her a little. Buffy carried her to her and Dean's room. Dean woke up for a minute. He took Joyce in his arms and she nestled up against him and they both fell asleep. 'Forever the daddy's girl,' Buffy thought.

She heard little Dean begin to fuss and she sighed. She was tired, she hadn't slept since the day he was born besides the few hours she had just gotten. When she got into the room, praise Bobby for having extra rooms, she found Dawn rocking him. She was singing to him.

"Dawnie, I think he's hungry."

"I think you should go get a breast pump so you can actually sleep." Dawn retorted. "Buffy, you've barely slept in four days. I already changed him, so feed him, go get a breast pump and then get some fucking rest!" She handed Dean to Buffy and walked out. Buffy smiled down at her son.

"What do you need, baby boy?" She cooed, for the first time since the hospital he opened his eyes. His beautiful green eyes focused on her and she smiled brightly. "What?" She asked, he made a face and then closed his eyes. He began to fuss again and she began to feed him.

After she had burped him, Buffy laid him back down and knelt over. She kissed the side if his head and rested a hand against his chest until he fell asleep. As she looked at him she realized he looked so much like Dean it was uncanny. The freckles, his nose, his chin. His eyes however were almost a perfect combination of Dean and Buffy's. Compared to his sister's he looked more like a Winchester, whilst Mary and Joyce looked more like Buffy and her mother's side of the family. Thank god, she didn't want her father having any sort of connection with her kids. If his secretaries were so important he could go screw himself for all he cared.

Buffy walked out and back into the room she and Dean were staying in. Dean had rolled on his back and Joyce was still tucked in at his side. She smiled at them before walking out and downstairs.

"Bobby, I need to borrow your car." She said when she spotted him in the kitchen.

"What for? And why can't you take the Impala?" He asked,

"I need to get a few things in town and Dean fell asleep with the keys in his pocket." He nodded and tossed her the keys. She got out to the car and set off. An hour or so later she returned. Vi and Bobby were talking as well were Sam and Dawn. Dean was chasing Mary around laughing the entire time. Joyce was content where she was. Trying to get in on the conversation Bobby was having with Vi.

"Come here kid," Bobby picked her up and she squealed and began to giggle.

"Be careful with grandpa Bobby, he's old!" Buffy called from the door way, Sam laughed and the cleared his throat after the glare he got from Bobby. Dawn laughed,

"He must be really scary when he's mad if you and Dean just shut up like that around him." Dawn said, Joyce seemed like she was listening. And then to Buffy and Dean's horror she spoke.

"Shu u," she tried saying. Buffy's nostrils flared and she turned to Dawn. Dawn was immediately on her feet, ready to run for her life.

"Dawn," Sam said when he noticed the look of fear in her face.

"Dawn, our daughter just said her first words outside of mommy, daddy and few others." Dean said, "and it was shut up... She is one years old, Dawn. One! We told you to be careful when you talk around them!" Dawn gulped nervously,

"Hey, grandpa Bobby is gonna take you into the other room okay?" He shot a warning glance at Dean and Buffy and nodded at Joyce who looked extremely upset by the raised voices.

"Dawn... Please, next time... Next time be careful of what what you say." Buffy urged, Dawn nodded slowly. There was frantic knocking from the front door. Bobby grabbed a shot gun and set Joyce down. He held it to the door as he opened it. Faith stood on the other side. She had a large gash covering her right eye. She was covered in bruises and burns. There were cuts covering most of her skin and she had a black eye. She was holding her stomach which was bleeding profusely.

"Hey Bobby," she coughed and blood was forced out of her mouth. "Can I get a little help?" She panted, she took a step and her knees buckled. She caught herself on her hand.

"Dean!" Bobby called, Dean came in and saw Faith.

"Sammy, I need your help!" He screamed, Sam came rushing in. They carried Faith over to the couch. She groaned in pain.

"Hey guys." She said weakly and gave her classic grin. "What did I miss?" She had gone missing and they stopped all efforts to find her when they couldn't find any sign of her.

"Try not to talk, we are gonna get you fixed up," Sam said.

"Not gonna happen toothpick." Faith said before she coughed again. "If you try to fix me now I'm gonna die. Hell, I might die either way."

"What the hell happened?" Dean asked,

"Crowley happened. He had me for a good two months. Askin' for Red, but I didn't tell him. That idiot," she said with a laugh. "He sent his goons after me but demon or not they don't really stand a chance against a Slayer in survival mode, boys." Faith heard an infant crying, "well who's that?"

"Dean Winchester the second, or little Dean." Buffy said, when she saw her friend she thought she was gonna puke.

"Hey, B. Congrats," she whispered.

"We need to get you to the hospital." Faith shook her head,

"Can't do that. Somethin' bad is comin'. Somethin' big." Faith closed her eyes as a wave of pain washed over her. "B, I'm not sure if I'm gonna make it, so listen to me." Faith said quietly, "first of all, tell those girls and my nephew that Auntie Faith loves them. Second of all, you stop this evil in its tracks. Also, if you see Crowley again." Faith's breath began to become choppy and uneven. "Tell him I am gonna haunt his ass." Her gaze turned up to the ceiling,

"Actually, on second thought... I'm done fighting, B." Her eyes became distant, it seemed as though she was focusing on something else. Buffy was crying and Dean wrapped his arms around her. "I love you, B. Never forget that." Faith took one last jagged breath and she stilled. Buffy screamed,

"Faith, damn it! Wake up! Don't do this to me. Wake up!" Buffy cried, "Faith!" Buffy closed her eyes and tears rolled down her cheeks. "Faith..." She sobbed, Bobby, Dawn and Vi came in.

* * *

Faith found herself in a cell. Her head snapped up when she heard footsteps. She looked through the bars.

"Crowley, long time no see." She said,

"Faith," he said with a cruel smile.

"You know, I always knew this is where I'd end up." She said as she sauntered over to the bars. She put her arms outside them and leaned against them. "Well, you got me. Where do you want me, way down in the pit?"

"Actually, this is the first time a Slayer has ended up in hell. So, Faith. I'd like to offer you a deal. Put your skills to use. How would you like to be the one who tortures the not so innocent souls that make their way here?"

"No fuckin' way. So get on with the torture. But there is one thing you need to know." She stepped back and spread her arms out wide. "I'm not gonna break, I'm not gonna scream. I've already been through enough pain in my life, what's the worst you can do to me? Actually," she gave him a wide smile. "Find somethin' new to try on me cupcake, but it ain't gonna work." Crowley narrowed his eyes,

"Sounds like someone should be in the pit."

"Go right ahead man, I'll be seeing you." She smiled at him, "good luck with..." Willow stepped next to Crowley. Her eyes and hair black. Faith closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Hey, Red."

"Faith," she smiled. "Crowley, she doesn't need to be in the pit." Willow said with certainty.

"Why is that?" Willow smiled with glee.

"Because I am much more creative." Willow said, she flicked her wrist and Faiths skin tore from her body. Willow twisted her wrist and he skin reattached itself. Faith didn't scream, though she was in immense pain.

"Is that the best you've got." Willow opened the cell and outstretched a hand. Faith was held against the wall at the very back. Chains wrapped around her hands and feet. Willow snapped her fingers and Faith's clothes fell away. Willow then stomped on the ground and a table with torture tools rose out.

"No, Faith. I have so much more." Willow picked up a wicked looking knife. "This is gonna be fun."

* * *

The next morning at dawn they were convened outside. They were giving Faith a hunters burial. Buffy leaned her head against Dean's shoulder and he planted a kiss on her lips.

"It's okay, Buff." He said as he rubbed her back. "You can let it out." Buffy nodded and began to cry. She watched as Bobby lit the wood on fire and Buffy closed her eyes. Sam kissed Dawn sweetly on the mouth and she began to sob. They had all lost friend. Hell, they had all lost family. Vi stood back and watched,

"I have to go back to Cleveland and let them know about Faith." She said, Buffy gave her a hug.

"Stay safe," she pleaded.

"I will, Buffy." Buffy felt her last ounce of composer break and she began to wail.

"I can't lost anyone else," she cried. "No, no, no! I-I-I c-can't do this!" Dean hugged her tightly and rested his chin on top of her head.

"Buffy, princess. Hey, listen to me." He said quietly, she quieted. "You'll make it through this, okay. You are gonna do this, you are gonna kick it in the ass and you are gonna own it." Buffy's phone rang and she took a few calming breaths.

"Hello?" She asked,

"Buffy, it's Jody Mills."

"Hey, why do you sound like you're on drugs? Are you on drugs?" She let go of a little laugh,

"I just got my appendix out. And my doctor is a monster." She insisted,

"No, Jody, you're on pain medication."

"I followed him. He took my roommate into surgery way before she was scheduled for it. He cut out her liver and started to eat it!" She whisper screamed, "his face was fucking creepy."

"Okay, I'll be there soon. Be ready to get out of there." Buffy said, she turned to Dawn.

"Take little Dean and the twins out. His milk is in the fridge." Buffy said, "Dean and Bobby come with me. Sam go with Dawn, if anyone who you suspect is out to get you approaches you,"

"Shoot first."

"Good, let's get a move on." Buffy said,

* * *

"Jody, how are you feeling?" Buffy asked,

"Like I need to get home." Buffy nodded,

"Bobby, go with her." Buffy ordered, his eyes widened.

"Excuse me? Who are you to be givin' me orders?"

"I don't want you here in case it gets hairy. I'm stronger than both you and Dean. So please get her home and go meet up with Sam and Dawn." He nodded to Dean's surprise and got in the cab with Jody. Buffy and Dean looked at each other before walking into the hospital. "Dean, go down that wing I got this one." He caught her arm and spun her around, her lips landed against him.

"Be careful," she looked into his eyes for a few moments,

"I always am," she said before walking off. It was deadly quiet. She stalked towards an open room and stopped just before the doorway.

"The boss wants the Winchesters and that bitch Slayer dead." One of the voices said.

"Then we kill them, I want to eat that bitch myself."

"No, she is for Mr. Roman, no one else." Buffy rolled her eyes and stepped into the room.

"Hey, your plans aren't gonna work out so well." She said, catching their attention she smirked. "God, you guys are the new evil?" She scoffed, "what are you? Wait! Let me guess, older than the world itself, right?"

"Not older than the world, but older than angles, older than demons, older than-"

"Do you know Illyria?" All their eyes widened, "yeah thought so, because I do. I'm friends with her. I killed Glorificus. hell dimensions existed long, long before you guys. And she ruled over one. Oh and by the way, The First Evil, yeah it's gone because of me too."

"Oh, we are so scared by The Slayer." Buffy let go of a chuckle.

"The... Is redundant, try "a" Slayer. When we killed The First, we activated the Slayer line. There are thousands of Slayers around the world. You guy's really should have a meeting about this." A doctor shoved her roughly and she soared backwards into a wall. She gasped as the air was knocked out of her.

"Bind her, take her to Mr. Roman," Buffy rose to her feet and glared at the man. She kicked out and it connected with his chest. He went backwards a good ways away.

"You are not taking me anywhere!" She yelled, they advanced on her. She didn't have the scythe and Dean was her only back up. "I'll be seeing you again, the next time with Slayers." She burst out of the room and ran full tilt down the hall. "Dean, run!" She screamed, he went off into a full sprint and caught up.

"Buffy, what the hell is going on?"

"What were those things you said killed Cass?" Buffy asked as they ran out to the car.

"Leviathan," he said.

"Dean, there are four of them coming after us." She said, he got behind the wheel and slammed on the accelerator. They were out of there right before one of Leviathan made it outside. When they pulled up to Bobby's house it was in flames, Dawn and Sam were there and Bobby was nowhere to be found.

"Dawn get our kids out of here and keep driving, we will find you." Dean said, Dawn nodded and jumped behind the wheel and rove off. Dean opened the trunk of the Impala and got his sawed-off and tossed Sam his shotgun. Buffy pulled one of her swords out and they started to look around.

"Did Bobby come find you?" Buffy asked, Sam shook his head.

"No, he didn't." Dean closed his eyes,

"Let's just hope he's still with Jody." He said, when they got to the back of the house there was a man standing there.

"You have beautiful children. I can't wait to pick them out of my teeth." Dean shot him in the center of his forehead. "That tickled," a brawl broke out. Sam was hit upside the head with a crow bar and Dean was thrown into a car. Buffy heard a bone snap and he rolled to the ground clutching his leg. Buffy charged him and landed a kick to his chest. He stumbled backwards. Shit! He was stronger than the others. He picked Buffy up by the neck and started to punch her over and over. She felt her cheek bone break and then her vision was reduced to two tiny holes. He landed a vicious punch to her stomach and she coughed. A little bit of blood speckled around her mouth. He tossed her like a rag doll and she landed next to Dean, not moving. Dean crawled backwards and grabbed a remote that controlled a lift that was holding a car. He hit the green button and the car fell on top of the man.

"Buffy?! Sam?!" In a last minute decision he called 911.

* * *

"Buffy, baby wake up!"

"Mr. Winchester, you need to calm down. She is stable, so is your brother." He looked over at Buffy's hospital bed and his heart broke. Her face was severely bruised.

"Can you give me my cellphone? I need to make a call." The doctor nodded and got it for him. He called Rona,

"Dean? What's going on?"

"We are Sioux Falls General, this place is crawling with Leviathan." He said after the doctor had walked away. "We need to be transferred tonight."

"Where's Buffy,"

"She's not doing to good, Rona." His voice broke, "Please, please get us out of here."

"I'm sending Slayers now, They are coming in from a few towns over."

"Send a few to Bobby's house to get my car. The key's are inside on the drivers seat."

"You'll be out of there in a half an hour."

"Also, find Bobby." He added,

"Okay, I'll see you in a little." She hung up and he immediately called Dawn. "Dawn, get to Slayer HQ in Michigan."

"Dean, what's going on?"

"Just get there, damn it!" He screamed into the phone before hanging up.

* * *

 _ **The Next Day, Detroit, Henry Ford Hospital**_

Dean was signing his release papers.

"Mr. Winchester, your wife... We experienced complications during the night." Dean felt anger boil inside him,

"And you didn't tell me?!"

"We had to stabilize her. She's in a medically induced coma." Dean grabbed his crutches and stood.

"Where's her room?" The doctor didn't say anything at first, "where is her room?!" The doctor led him down the hall and into her room. She had a tube down her throat and even with Slayer healing her face was still horribly bruised. Then he saw the giant bruise on her sternum. "Get out," Dean said. The doctor nodded and left. Dean hobbled over to the chair next to the bed and sat down. He took her hand and tears spilled from his eyes.

"Buffy, if... If you can hear me, you are gonna make it through this. I won't watch you die. I-I can't." He let go of a strangled sob, "please, baby, wake up." He sobbed, Dean never let himself be this vulnerable. But he was alone and there was a chance that Buffy might not make it. If she didn't... He would make it his life mission to end the Leviathans. He felt her hand move and he opened his eyes. Her body must have been fighting the drugs, doctors came in,

"She's trying to wake up," one of them said.

 _Buffy ran through the woods as fast as he legs would carry her. She ducked under branches and hurled over downed trees. She then came to a hundred foot drop. She turned around and saw the beast and her eyes narrowed. It charged her and lunged. She flattened herself to the ground and it soared over her and fell down the cliff, a shriek so loud it would make someones ears bleed escaped it._

 _"What the fuck?" She asked, she was frozen in place. A bright white light appeared overhead and she looked into it. Had she died?_

Buffy's eyes fluttered open and she looked around. She was surrounded by doctors and when she spotted Dean she reached her hand out. They got the tube out of her and she took a breath on her own.

"Dean," she croaked. They let Dean over to her. He leaned down and kissed her.

"I thought I lost you," his voice broke as he said it.

"It takes a lot more than that to take me down," she said weakly. Her smile was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. A smile he wasn't sure he was ever going to see again. But when he saw it his heart leapt with joy. She was going to be okay. He let go of a few tears. She took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you, too."

* * *

Sam carried Mary and Joyce while Dawn carried little Dean. The got to Buffy's room and when they walked in she smiled brightly.

"Mommy!" Mary and Joyce squealed. Dean sat down,

"Give me my son," he said to Dawn. She handed little Dean to him. "Hey buddy, wanna see mommy?" He kicked his legs and something big happened. He smiled, Buffy looked at him and she let go of a tear.

"Dean, he smiled." She said, "he smiled!" She exclaimed,

"I know," Dean began to make faces at him.

"Mommy!"Mary exclaimed pointing at Buffy's face, her bottom lip quivering. Buffy pouted and then smiled,

"An evil man hurt Mommy, but Daddy hurt him." Buffy told her, "but don't worry, me, Daddy and Uncle Sammy are superheros, we make the bad guys go away." Dean handed her their son and she let go of a few tears.

* * *

 _ **A/N: I promised myself that I would do this sequel if I got better with updating and I say I have been doing a fair job. So I played with the timeline a little to fit in Mary, Joyce and little Dean. So, here it is. The sequel to Some Ends Are The Beginning.  
**_


	2. Christmas

Buffy was in a wheelchair. They had finally let her out of the hospital but they were worried about the fractured in her lower back. They were surprised she wasn't paralysed. Most likely because of Slayer healing, she knew she'd bounce back. Eventually that is, right now the coven from England had her, Dean, Sam, Mary, Joyce and little Dean cloaked.

"Dean why am I blindfolded?" She pulled her coat tighter around her. Two weeks had passed and Christmas was in three days.

"I am showing you your early Christmas present." Buffy had known he was up to something up for a while but she didn't know what. He took the blind fold off and her breath caught.

"You like it?" Buffy let go of a little sob. She looked at the house. It was perfect,

"You finished it?" About a month after moving in with Buffy Dean had bought an old house and decided to fix it up. They were originally going to rent it but after what Crowley had done they needed a place. "I love it," she said with a smile. He leaned down and kissed her.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you," she decided to give something a try. "Dean, I wanna try to walk again." She felt him tense,

"No, doctor said you can't get out of that wheelchair."

"The doctor also doesn't know I'm a Slayer. Dean I need to try. I haven't been in pain in almost two weeks. Please," he held his hand out and she took it. He pulled her to her feet and supported her against him. She took a step and felt pain shoot through her back but not nearly as bad as before.

* * *

Dean carried Buffy through the house. He had everything finished and with a lot of help from Sam everything was furnished.

"This is his room and the nursery is right across the hall." He explained, Buffy looked at the colors. She noticed wards painted into the wall, ones hiding him from angels and demons alike. He then led her to the living room. "Vi and Sammy helped me bring this in last night while Dawn watched the kids." It was a beautiful Christmas tree.

Buffy smiled when she spotted the stockings that were almost over flowing. Buffy never expected Dean to be big on Christmas but he had surprised her on their first Christmas together.

* * *

 _ **2 Years Ago, Three Days Before Christmas**_

Dean stood behind Buffy and rested his hands on either side of her bump.

"How are you three doing?" He asked,

"I'm stressed, they're stressed."

"Baby, it's our first Christmas together," Buffy nodded.

"And I want it to be perfect." She said, Willow then walked in with a bag. Buffy shoved Dean off and grabbed it from her.

"What's that?" Dean asked, he then gave a boyish smile. "My Christmas present?"

"Yes, and I don't trust you enough not to snoop. Dean, I am almost at the end of my pregnancy and I am not ready to deal with your snooping."

* * *

"Buffy?" Dean asked, she was snapped out of the memory,

"Hmm?"

"We're getting Dean and the girls from Sammy and Dawn." Buffy nodded and rested her head against his chest. "We're movin' in today." She closed her eyes and then winced when she felt a bad pain shoot from her lower back down her legs. Dean noticed this and looked down at her.

"Do you need one of your pain meds." Something clicked in her mind,

"Willow!" She exclaimed and then frowned. "Willow could have fixed this... But she's gone," she began to cry. "We lost Faith and Willow... Dean it's almost Christmas and two of my friends are gone. I don't know if Willow is even alive and Faith."

"Buff, I am alive. I'm just much better now." Dean turned around and when Buffy saw Willow she screamed.

"No..."

"Yes," Willow said with a smile. "Crowley said Merry Christmas. He also said Faith is holding up pretty good... But once I'm through with her," she let go of a laugh. She waved her hand and all pain Buffy had been feeling was gone. Buffy made Dean set her down and she walked over to Willow.

"Willow, please. Come back to us, you don't need to do this!"

"Buffy, shut the fuck up." Buffy felt her soul shatter. "I like me this way, you should understand that." Buffy watched her carefully.

"We will get you back."

"You already have me, you just have the better me." She disappeared, Buffy was frozen in place.

"Buffy, let's go get our kids." She nodded and they left. Willow had gone dark side and there was no getting her back. But it was almost Christmas and it was going to be amazing. She would kill everyone on the planet if it meant she could give her family a great Christmas.

* * *

After about three hours everyone was settled. Sam and Dawn were no where to be found,

"They really don't care who knows that they're hooking now do they?" Buffy asked,

"Nope, I feel like there may be another Winchester wedding in the future."

"No! Don't say those words." Buffy said, "I am not prepared for that day!" There was a knock at the door. When Buffy opened her eyes narrowed. "Dad," she breathed out.

"Hey, pumpkin." Buffy turned around and gave Dean a look.

"I called him," Buffy walked over and punched him across the jaw. Hank had found out last year that she was a Slayer but he still wasn't used to it.

"I came to meet my grandkids." Buffy nodded,

"So what... You disappear for years at a time and now you want to meet your grandkids? Are you gonna leave right after this and go fuck more of your secretaries?"

"You have every right to be angry with me."

"You're funny. Angry doesn't begin to cover it. You want to meet my kids you have to promise me here and now that you will come visit us when ever you get the chance. You can't keep popping back up in my life and then leaving again. You didn't even come to mom's funeral."

"She's my ex wife."

"And she was my mother! Dawn's mother! We needed you and you were too "busy.""

"I promise, cupcake."

"Merry Christmas Dad," she said with disgust. She stepped aside and let him in the house. She led him into the girls room. When they saw Hank they really didn't know what to do. Joyce finally got up and ran to Buffy.

"This is Joyce," Buffy said. She then glared at her father. "She has my mother's name," he nodded.

"Hi Joyce," she looked between Buffy and Hank before reaching out for Hank to hold her. He gave Buffy a look and she sighed and handed Joyce to him. She then went over and picked up Mary who squealed,

"This is Mary in honor of Dean's mother."

"Is Dean your boyfriend or husband. I forgot which one,"

"Husband, I have been Buffy Winchester for over a year now."

"Hi Mary," he said.

"Who's that?" She asked,

"That's your grandfather. My Daddy," Buffy explained. Mary tried desperately to understand what she was saying.

"He's not grandpa Bobby!" She screamed at Buffy, Buffy sighed.

"No, he is my Dad. Grandpa Bobby is Daddy's... Adopted Dad," Mary didn't understand and began to have a fit. "Dean, your daughter needs you." Dean ran upstairs and took her.

"I want grandpa Bobby!"

"Call him, have him come tomorrow and he can stay till' next week." Buffy said, Buffy took Joyce and handed her to Dean. "Time to go meet your grandson." She said, he followed her to the nursery where little Dean was sleeping. When she picked him up he woke up.

"This Dean Winchester the Second or little Dean." Dean was very curious about the strange man. He was just staring at Hank. Buffy made him sit down in the rocking chair and she put little Dean in his arms.

"You were this small once." Buffy nodded,

"Yep, I was." She looked at her phone, "do you want me to call Dawn and have her come here?"

"Yes," he said. He was memorized by little Dean. He was so small and fragile.

* * *

 _ **2 Years Ago, Christmas eve**_

"Dean!" Buffy screamed as he hung the stockings wrong. "Stockings hung with care! What don't you understand?"

"I know how Christmas works!" He yelled back, Buffy nodded and sat back in her seat.

"You want your present?" He nodded, "then don't scream at me you asshole."

"All you have done to me and Willow for three days is scream at us! You made me sleep on the couch last night because I had a beer before bed."

"I don't want you smelling like alcohol! I can't even stand to be around most food, why the fuck would I want you to smell like alcohol?!"

"I could have brushed my teeth!"

"I would have still smelled it," she shot back. "Jesus Christ, Dean!" She felt a sharp pain .

"Baby, they already told you they were false alarms. You need to calm down. Why don't you go to Willow's while me and Dawn finish up?"

"You know? I will do that, cause' it sure as hell beats getting screamed at." She waddled out of the room and slammed the door to the bathroom.

"What did I do?!" He yelled to no one in particular.

"You pissed off a pregnant woman," Dawn said as she walked into the room. "She made me stay on the phone the other day to yell at me for accidentally over cooking the chicken." She said with a roll of her eyes,.

"So... Don't piss her off? Dawn, have you met me?"

"Dean, you've been engaged for a little over a week and you are already fighting like you've been married for twenty years." She pointed out, "I know, you piss people off a lot but Buffy doesn't need that extra stress." He nodded, "I can't keep hiding what I got her for much longer!"

"Why not?" He asked,

"It's hard to hide the fact that you bought your sister a car!" She scream whispered.

* * *

Buffy listened to Dawn scream at Hank. She then listened to Hank interrogate Sam to make sure he was good enough for "his little girl." Buffy rolled her eyes at that one, when he met her first boyfriend he told him to wear a condom. Not that it mattered much because the next day she was called as the Slayer.

Sam trudged up the stairs and stood next to Buffy.

"So your dad is,"

"Interesting? An asshole who shouldn't have walked out me and my sister's life in the first place?"

"I was going to say a little intimidating, actually."

"Sam, you are 6'4, my dad, who is 5'8 was intimidating? Especially to Lucifer's vessel?"

"Lucifer wasn't protecting his youngest daughter." Buffy nodded,

"You know, he has never met one of Dawn's boyfriends. As far as he is concerned you are the first. My first boyfriend," she said with a laugh. "He told my first boyfriend to wear a condom and then went back to getting drunk."

"Wow, and here I thought my dad was bad." Buffy recalled the one time she met John back in Sunnydale in 2002. When she had first met Sam and Dean.

"No... Your dad was a dick. But... He was a damn good hunter." She then remembered when she and Dean had their first kiss. She remembered how simple things were. She never in a million years thought they would be married with three kids, but here they were.

"He did what he could," Sam said. Even with how much Sam and John fought, Sam still viewed him with love. "He may have raised me and Dean to be hunters, but when it counted, really counted he was there. And honestly, if mom didn't die, you and Dean never would have met." He kicked his lips, "I have never seen Dean so happy with anyone, Buffy. And as morbid as it sounds, if I had the chance to bring mom back... I wouldn't, because Dean deserves this. He deserves to have happiness in his life, even if he doesn't believe it."

"Sam," Buffy said. "You are an amazing brother."

"It's just... After he came back from hell, he wasn't close to okay. He probably still has nightmares. And then after Ellen and Jo died he blamed himself. He thinks he's the reason everyone close to him ends up dead. But it isn't him, it's the life we live."

"Unfortunately, you're right. I have lost so many people because of what I am. I blamed myself for so long... That I was responsible for everyone who died back in Sunnydale because I wasn't there to kill that vampire or demon. Even after Sunnydale got destroyed and there were thousands of Slayers being recruited I still blamed myself because it's my job... But I finally stopped, because of something Willow told me."

"What did Willow tell you?" Sam asked,

"She told me that it wasn't my fault. Because on a nightly basis I was out fighting the good fight. Making the world a safer place. Because I have lost so much to protect other people. The people I love. But one thing she said really resonated with me. I don't have to carry the weight of the world anymore. Because there is always someone else out there fighting the good fight." Sam nodded,

"Dean has always acted like he has to carry the weight of the world. But he doesn't need to. He never has. He just has to accept the fact you can't save everyone, but the people you do save... That's what matters. That you can actually make that difference."

Dean heard everything. He had come upstairs to see if Buffy could help with some decorations.

"It doesn't just go away, Sam." Dean said, both of them jumped at he sound of his voice. "I have seen seriously screwed up things. I have seen people get their throats torn out by vampires feet away from me. If I acted a second sooner that person would be alive. Every single day that weight grows." He walked away, Buffy could see his shoulders tense.

* * *

 _ **2 Years Ago, Christmas Eve**_

"Buff!" Dean called,

"Go away!" She screamed at him,

"Baby, I'm sorry." Buffy opened the door to the bedroom and let him in.

"You should be!" She sobbed, she then winced again. "Dean, I swear to god I'm about to go into labor."

"Sit down, rest. Please, you're about to give me a heart attack."

"Why?" Dean sighed and sat down,

"If you haven't noticed Buffy, I'm pretty scared about becoming a dad." He said, "and you saying you are about to go into labor isn't helping me." Buffy rolled her eyes,

"Dean, do you really think I'm handling this well? You don't have twins growing inside you. We are going to be parents Dean and we aren't nearly as prepared as we should be. It's times like this I really wish my mom was here. She managed to handle me and Dawn as teenagers. Do you remember Dawnie when you first met us? Talk about ADHD," Dean laughed loudly at that.

"She was fawning over Sam back then." He laughed, "it surprised me they didn't hook up!"

"You two are asshole's." Dawn grumbled,

"Hey, Ebenezer," Buffy said. Dawn threw a stuffed polar bear at her sisters head. Buffy's eyes widened in surprise.

"Really?" Dean asked when he noticed tears in Buffy's eyes,

"This was mom's." She sobbed, "I'm sorry, it reminded me of her. Dawn remember when you got this for her. How old were you?"

"Four," she said. "Well that's what our memories say."

"I never understood that," Dean said.

"Another story for another day." Buffy said, "okay, what is left to do?"

"You are resting me and Dawn are taking care of the rest." Buffy finally relented,

"Buff! We have a surprise for you!" Willow called from downstairs,

"I believe you will rather enjoy it," Buffy, with Dean's help, got off the bed and made it down stairs with much effort.

"Xander!" Buffy cried, he gave her a hug.

"Hey, Buff." He gave her smile, "wow you got big! Do you know if you're having boys? Girls? Boy and a girl?" Buffy laughed,

"Two little girls," she said with a smile. "I can't believe you're here! I thought they were shutting down flights?"

"They were, but the Council has a private jet." He said with a goofy grin, "Dean!" He exclaimed, he took something out of the bag he was holding and threw it to Dean.

"You're not serious,"

"Dead serious," Buffy turned to look at Dean. She saw a large knife with runes on the blade.

"Really, Xander?" She raised an eyebrow, "cause' my fiance needs more weapons."

"Hey! That knife was two grand! That knife was Samuel Colt's." Xander said, Dean gave it few slashes and Buffy reached out and grabbed it.

"Are these real enochian runes?" She asked,

"Yes!" They both exclaimed, Dean snatched it back from her,

"Don't touch it," he hissed. Buffy raised her hands in defense,

"Okay, geez." She then turned to Giles and gave him a hug. "I missed you," she said. "Come back to America! We still have stuffy old people scotch."

"And I suppose the "scotch" you have is much better." He said dryly, "compared to the scotch I get back home that would cost three hundred dollars here. Yes, I do miss America."

"When did you become a shallow alcoholic?" Buffy asked,

"Around the same time Olivia died," Buffy hadn't forgotten. She was the one who held Olivia as she died. Shortly after she and Giles had a small falling out, but slowly things were getting better.

"Giles, we saved your scotch from the last time you were here. You can come on the private with your other good scotch." Buffy suggested.

* * *

Buffy found Dean outside, he was nursing a beer. His eyes looked tortured,

"Hey," Buffy said sitting next to him. "You know, it's two degrees out."

"It is my fault, Buffy." Dean said hanging his head in shame. "I do blame myself... For a lot, and I should. You need to understand that it doesn't go away. No matter who tells me otherwise."

"Dean, you don't have to carry that weight anymore. It was never your fault. Ellen and Jo sacrificed themselves. Dean, I was there with you guys before I got called to the other side of the world. I remember what Ellen said, I remember what happened with Jo. They both made a descision and it saved your life. You don't have to carry it anymore, you aren't _alone_ anymore." She reached over and cupped his cheek. "You don't have fo be alone in carrying this guilt."

"You don't understand!" He threw the bottle, "Buffy, I know you know that I went to hell. But did I ever tell you what happened there? The things I did?" His voice broke, "the people I tortured... How..." Tears rolled down his cheeks, "how I liked it?"

"You did what you had to do," she said. She had heard stories about hell.

"No! I broke Buffy... After twenty years of my skin being torn from my body and then getting put back on again, Alastair... At the end of everyday... He offered to take me down off the rack if I helped torture souls," his voice completely broke. "I finally said yes,"

"Dean, that is not your fault," Buffy was on the verge of tears. The last time she had seen Dean like this was when she almost died delivering little Dean. "Do you know how soon I would have broken?" She asked him, "I wouldn't have lasted five years..."

"Do you understand why I carry what I carry? That our kids father is monster?"

"Dean come inside and up to our room," Buffy pleaded. He wiped his tears and followed her inside.

* * *

 _ **2 Years Ago, Christmas Day 2am**_

Buffy woke up to the feeling of wetness between her legs and then she felt a stabbing pain. Her water broke.

"Dean!" Buffy screeched, he sat up and looked around. "My water just broke!" She exclaimed, Dean jumped to his feet and got an overnight bag they had ready and then helped her up, they got to the car and he drove like a mad man to the hospital. Buffy looked down at her engagement ring, Dean had proposed a week and a half ago.

"My fiance just went into labor," Dean said. They got Buffy a wheelchair and they brought her into the delivery room. Dean called Willow, Giles, Xander, Dawn and Bobby.

"When can I push?" Buffy asked, the doctor examined her,

"Three maybe four hours." Buffy nodded, "we are going to give you an epidural." She sighed in relief, Willow barged in, they were about to tell her to leave, "no, she can stay. She's my best friend." They nodded,

"Buff," Willow said.

"Aunt Willow," Buffy said with a chuckle, Dawn came in while the men were exiled, except Dean of course. Three hours later Buffy's contractions got closer,

"Okay you are ready to push," the doctor said, Dean was sitting next to her, she grasped his hand and pushed, "Okay, 1, 2, 3 push," she did again, three minutes later an infant cried, "you have a beautiful baby girl, time for baby number two," Buffy shattered Dean's hand and he screamed. "Someone get his hand casted," the doctor said. A nurse led him out, fifteen minutes later he was back in the room and when he saw two beautiful little girls he smiled and he felt tears rush to his eyes,

"We need names Mr. Winchester," the doctor said. He looked at Buffy and then back at the doctor.

"Mary and Joyce," he said. He handed them to Dean and he walked into the waiting room, Willow looked over at him and smiled when she saw the two little babies.

"Mary is the one in the solid pink hat and Joyce is the one in the polka dot." Bobby walked over to Dean and placed a had on his shoulder.

"Congratulations, Boy," Bobby said.

"That's your grandpa Bobby," Dean said. The look on Boby's face was complete happiness. Three days later they arrived back at home.

"Now are they getting extra presents because they were born on Christmas?" Willow asked as they walked through the door.

"Of course they will," Dean said.

* * *

Buffy and Dean laid back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling.

"You keep spacing out," Dean said turning his head to look at her.

I keep thinking about our first Christmas together... I can't believe the girls are going to be two." She said, "we have three December birthdays... Maybe the next one will be in spring so I don't almost slip on ice going out to the car." Dean gave her a look, "what?"

"The next one?" He asked,

"You don't want more kids?"

"I do, baby I do... Just not for a while." Buffy nodded,

"Look, little Dean was a total surprise, and so were the girls," Dean laughed.

"You're not wrong."

"It's just, baby number four, I want to plan." Dean nodded,

"Okay, so..."

"You my friend have to start wearing condoms."

"But they are uncomfortable." He said rolling on top of her and kissing her.

* * *

Three days later Buffy sat with little Dean on the couch. Dean was helping the girls unwrap their presents.

"When birthday!" Mary exclaimed,

"Tomorrow, when grandpa Giles gets here," Dean told her. They had finally found Giles. Apperently he had been hiding with the coven in England because Crowley was trying to use him toget Willow. After their last encounter with Willow it was clear that Crowley had a hold of her.

"But I want present now!" Mary screamed at him.

"You have presents now, you're just getting more tomorrow," Buffy said. She was happy that this Christmas had come together so well. Bobby took little Dean from her and she walked out of the room and into the kitchen. She opened a cabinet and the pulled something out.

"Dean, come in here!" She called, he came running in.

"Is everything okay?" Buffy laughed,

"Everything is fine, but." She held out a small box, when he opened it he gave her a look.

"Is that..." He didn't have words. "How?"

"It is... Before Willow went dark side she helped me find it. It survived the flames, Dean." It was his mothers necklace. He picked her up in a bear hug and she could feel his tears. He leaned his head down and kissed her softly. When he pulled back he rested his head against her forehead.

"I love you so much."

* * *

 _ **A/N: Christmas fluff with a splash of drama. As I said last time there is a time change, don't hate me for it. Happy Holidays, enjoy!**_


	3. Familiar Taste Of Poison

**_A/N: This chapter is named after the song "Familiar Taste of Poison" by Halestorm._**

I breathe you in again just to feel you  
Underneath my skin, holding on to  
The sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison

* * *

 ** _2 Weeks Ago, Council GQ Michigan_**

Dean laid on the table and waited.

"I have had Willow heal a lot of broken bones and you are taking forever," he said to the young witch named Sarah.

"Yeah? Well Willow isn't here. And this is your leg, not a wrist or fingers." She reminded him, he sighed and waited.

"Et confractus est et sanatum, dea ego. Accipite, et os ad novum rursus, dea, te rogamus." She snapped her fingers and bowl filled with his blood burst into flames.

"Why isn't it fixed?" He asked,

"Dude!" She exclaimed, "I am not Willow. I can't just wave my hands and make special healing tea to make you better. My spells actually take time and ingredients to work, so if you would please shut up I can fix your damn leg!" His eyes widened, "I'm sorry." She amended, "Et confractus est et sanatum, dea ego. Accipite, et os ad novum rursus, dea, te rogamus." She repeated and dropped a few bones into the flames. Dean's cast split open and he grunted in pain at the loss of support.

"Et confractus est et sanatum, dea ego. Accipite, et os ad novum rursus, dea, te rogamus." Sarah dropped a lily into the fire and then closed her eyes. The fire ceased and Dean watched as his leg turned in the right direction. He made a face when he heard the bones begin to mend. With a loud pop his leg was better. He went to stand and noticed a mark on his leg.

"That is not supposed to be there!" She exclaimed,

"I couldn't tell," he said sardonically.

"Let me fix it, or at least find out what it is."

"With my luck it means I am gonna die." He grumbled, she grabbed her books and found it rather quickly.

"It's the mark of Gaia," she said in an almost surprised tone.

"Let me guess. It means I'm gonna die," she shook her head.

"No, it's a blessing. In a time of death it will protect you in some way."

* * *

Dean thought back to that day and hoped she was right because he really needed it. He heard the floorboards creek in the old house and he flattened himself against the wall.

"Dean," Buffy called in sing song. He stalked to the end of the hallway. The wind howled outside and it caused the house to creak and groan. In that moment he took a chance and dashed into a room. "I know you are up here." Her footsteps grew closer, she stuck her head into the room and smiled with glee when she spotted him. She held the knife out in front of her,

"There you are... Sam was mean so I stabbed him." She advanced on him and Dean felt fear grip him.

* * *

 ** _48 Hours Earlier_**

"Dean!" Buffy yelled upstairs, "get Mary and Joyce in the bath, Giles is coming over and they are filthy."

"Okay!" He called back, he got them in the tub and began to clean them.

"Daddy, I don't want bath!" Joyce screamed and she began to cry.

"You have to, Grandpa Giles is coming over and Mommy said you have to be clean." Mary laughed,

"Daddy scared of Mommy," she said.

"I am," he admitted. "So that's why you girls have to be clean, oaky?" Finally they both calmed down and it gave him the chance to wash them.

Downstairs Buffy was dealing with very fussy Dean.

"What's the matter?" She asked him as she looked into the crib they had in the living room. He began to cry, "baby boy what's wrong?" She picked him up and realized his diaper was wet. She changed him and laid him down and soon enough he was asleep. Buffy had almost forgotten how much attention a newborn needed but she was okay with that.

There was a knock at the door and she ran over.

"Giles!" he gave her a long hug.

"How are you?" Buffy let go of a dramatic groan.

"Tired, really tired."

"That tends to happen when you have an infant." Giles said,

"I wouldn't have guessed." Buffy sighed and walked into the house. She sat down in the recliner and hit the button.

"Giles, everything hurts." She whined, "I think I'm getting sick." She said,

"Then go get checked," he suggested.

"I think I'm just tired. Dean has been of no help. He will not get out of bed to help me with little Dean. I need sleep too ya know." Dean came downstairs carrying Mary and Joyce. He set them down and they ran to Giles.

"Grandpa Giles!" Joyce screamed, "I got a puppy for my birthday!"

"I got a new stuffed animal, it's a kitty!"

"We wanna show you!" They led Giles to their play room and Buffy began to sob.

"Dean I am so tired!" She cried, "I just wanna sleep," she then glared at him. "You have been of no help. I have had to get up and feed him and change him so much in that last week and you haven't. I got breast pump for a reason."

"I'm sorry, Buffy." She cried harder,

"No your not, you have said that three times this week and haven't done a damn thing!" She accused, he sighed, knowing her something else was bothering her.

"What's got you like this?"

"Everything... I miss Willow, I haven't had time to grieve Faith, my mom's birthday is in three days and my idiot sister and your idiot brother have dropped off the grid. Bobby hasn't found anything about the Leviathan and I am really stressed."

Dean didn't know how to help her, he leaned down and kissed her. He helped her out of the chair and followed her upstairs. The minute her head hit the pillow she was out.

* * *

On the other side of town someone was toying with very dark magic.

"Conteram voluntatem, et animum. Et imperium in infirmitate eius. Fac ut familiae suae longo elabitur. Ego autem tstem Deum corruptionem." He chanted, the lights flickered and then they exploded. Then a blue light began to shine.

Ethan Rayne smiled when he heard the god speak to him. He cut his palm and offered his blood.

* * *

Buffy woke up, she looked at the clock. She had slept for seven hours. She then felt a stinging sensation on her palm. She flicked on the lights and saw a bloody cut.

"Dean!" Buffy screeched,

"Buffy, what's wrong?" He asked, Buffy heard little Dean start to scream blue bloody murder. She showed him the cut,

"This is what's wrong! I don't usually wake up with a giant cut across my hand." She sighed when little Dean began to wail louder. "Go calm him down, I'm gonna go get this cleaned up." She walked into the bathroom and went to run her hand under water and then gasped when she felta sharp pain in her stomach. She puked and when she looked into the sink there was a lot of bood. found he

"Dean!" She tried to scream but it was cut off when she puked again. More blood was forced out of her and she collapsed. She fell she smacked her head against the sink. Dean ran into the bathroom when he heard a thud.

"Buffy, baby. Come on, wake up." When she didn't he took out his ceel phone and called 911.

* * *

 _Buffy found herself back in the same forest as she was at the hospital in Detroit._

 _"What the hell is this place?" She asked out loud._

 _"It's where you wish to be," Buffy turned around and came face to face with a man._

 _"Um, no, I would like to be at home with my kids... Not here," the man was wearing a mask but his voice sounded very familiar. "I know you," he took off the mask and she glared at him._

 _"Hello, Slayer."_

 _"Ethan!" She hissed, "you've been following me for three weeks?"_

 _"Guilty," he said._

 _"What the hell do you want, Ethan?" She crossed her arms,_

 _"I want you to do something. And that cut on your hand is going to make you."_

Buffy opened her eyes and looked around. She was in a hospital bed, she turned her head and saw Dean sitting next to the bed. His face was serious and he looked like hell.

"Dean?" She asked weakly,

"Hey," he said. He sounded like he wanted to say something,

"Who's watching the kids?" She asked,

"Giles, he uh," he cleared his throat. "He's stayin' with them for however long we need him to."

"What's going on?" She asked, he didn't seem like he could talk, "Dean, what's going on?" He sighed,

"They said you have ulcers related to stress..."

"Dean," she urged as she sat up,

"You started bleeding like you miscarried," he said. "Apparently a few ovarian cysts ruptured and when they examined you..." He seemed really upset.

"Dean, what's wrong."

"Your uterus is twisted, they said it's bad to the point we won't be able to have anymore kids." Buffy nodded and a few tears left her eyes.

"Okay," she said quietly. "I had a dream while I was out. It's not ulcers, it's some asshat who has pulled some serious shit since I've become the Slayer. His name is Ethan Rayne." Dean's face grew dark,

"That son of a bitch!"

"You know him?" She had to move past the news, she could dwell on that later... With alcohol, yes, that's what she was going to do.

"Yeah, the son of bitch tried to kill Sam last year." He withheld the fact that he almost succeeded in killing him as well.

* * *

 ** _Present Day_**

"Buffy, think about this," Dean said.

"Think about what?" She asked, "there isn't anything to think about."

"Yes, there is. You kill me how are you going to tell Mary and Joyce that Daddy isn't coming home?"

"Why does it matter?"

* * *

 _ **24 Hours Earlier**_

Buffy had stayed true to her word, the minute she got home from the hospital she grabbed a bottle of wine and chugged it. When she was done she ran upstairs and laid in bed. The minute her head hit the pillow she began to cry. She was distraught, her dreams of she and Dean having more kids had been destroyed.

She didn't notice when the bed dipped. It didn't register that she was in his arms until he placed a kiss on the side of her head.

"Hey, princess." Buffy twisted in his arms to look at him. "Giles took the kids so we can talk."

"Dean, not even last week we talked about having more kids... Now we can't."

"Maybe it's for the best," Buffy cried harder.

"It's not for the best Dean..." She sobbed, "I wanted, at some point in the future to have another baby and we can't... You wanted it too and now I can't give that to you."

"It's okay, sweetie it's okay." He said, he pulled her tighter in his arms. He kissed her gently and she cried harder. She then felt an overwhelming need to hurt someone.

"Dean, get away from me right now." He got up and moved away,

"What's going on?" He then saw a gleam in her eyes. "Buffy," she let go of a very cold laugh.

"You know... I'm already over it," she laughed again. "You know why I'm over it, Dean?" He took a step backwards,

"Why?" She ran at him and punched him in the stomach before bringing his head to her knee. She grabbed his arm and spun him and slammed him against the wall.

"Because... I don't feel anything." She felt blissfully empty besides rage. "Well, I am really, really angry."

"Buffy, don't do this." She grabbed the front of his shirt and began to punch him over and over.

"Why not? It's really fun!"

* * *

Ethan looked in the circle.

"Ethan!" Buffy screamed, "what did you do?!"

"If you haven't gathered... your not you. Well you are, but your soul is what is in that circle you're trapped in." Buffy felt like she had been punched in the stomach,

"I was just laying in bed mourning the fact that I will not be able to have more kids and now this. What do you want with me Ethan?"

"Nothing personally, but I am a son of Chaos, and as you know I cause' it in his name. And in this case, your soulless husk is going to kill Dean and Sam." Buffy felt her heart break.

* * *

 _ **The Abandoned House**_

Dean was thrown against a wall and he felt a knife stick into his shoulder,

"You know what I'll tell them? You asked, right?" Buffy asked, "I'll tell them that Daddy went on a hunting trip and he and Uncle Sammy won't be coming back." She said with a wicked smile, in a last minute decision Dean punched her as hard as he could. She stumbled backward and he ripped the knife out.

"I don't want to hurt you sweetheart."

"Then don't hurt me," she did a uppercut to his jaw and then kicked him in the stomach. "But, baby, I have no problem hurting you." He spun around with the knife and made a cut down her arm. He mentally punched himself for what he was about to do. He turned the knife so it was in front of him and lunged. She screamed when it went into her shoulder. He punched her on the side of her head and she went down.

"I am so sorry," he whispered.

* * *

 _ **12 Hours Earlier**_

Dean ran from the house and got in the Impala before driving off. He had managed to get away from Buffy. He took out his cellphone to call Giles.

"Giles, do not take the kids home. Buffy's lost it."

"What do you mean?"

"She said that Ethan Rayne did it to her."

"Dean, Ethan is very dangerous. If you find him call me immediately. I have a score to settle." He said before hanging up. Dean called Sam as he slammed his foot on the accelerator.

"Dean?"

"Sammy, I don't know where you are but Buffy lost it. Remember Ethan Rayne?"

"Yeah, the bastard nearly killed the both of us. Why?"

"He's doing this to Buffy. Where are you?"

"About an hour outside Michigan,"

"I'm comin' to get you."

* * *

Dean ran downstairs to help Sam. Sam was leaning against the wall, his breathing jagged.

"Sammy," Dean said. Sam's gaze flickered to Dean.

"I'm bleeding to death." He said,

"I see that, let me see." When Sam moved his hand Dean closed his eyes, "we'll get you fixed up, can you walk?"

"Yeah, Dean..." Sam trailed off, "I think I'm bleeding to death." Dean rolled his eyes,

"No shit, get up and out to the car." He ran upstairs and got Buffy and slug her over his good shoulder and walked back down the stairs. He pulled the knife out when he got to the car and then bound her hands and feet. He slammed on the accelerator and got to council HQ. After a brief explanation to Vi, Sam and Dean were treated and Buffy was locked in their 'panic room' aka where they kept the Slayers who went rouge.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Dean asked, Vi nodded.

"Yeah, she should be okay... Dean what the hell happened?" She asked, he told her. "Um, I'm gonna run and get Sarah." She ran out, Dean looked over at Sam who was being force fed.

"Serioisly?" Chou-ann asked, "you have lost a lot of blood. We don't exactly know how to do a blood transfusion. So eat!" Dean found this very amusing as the 4'9 girl held his brother to a hospital bed and spoon fed him pudding. "I do know how to shove a tube down someone's throat to make them eat. It's your choice Sam, tube or eat?" Sam finally took the pudding from her and ate it.

"What do you have against pudding?" Dean asked,

"I have an issue with the fact that it's pasteurized."

"Sam... You drink milk and eat cheeseburgers, that's about as pasteurized as it gets."

"I don't eat cheeseburgers Dean, I eat salad. You're thinking about you."

"Oh yeah, you eat rabbit food." Sam glared at his brother,

"Jerk," he grumbled.

"Bitch," Dean said. Sarah walked in with a horrified look on her face.

"We have a huge problem." She said,

"What?" Dean asked worriedly,

"Buffy doesn't have a soul. Literally. And there are traces of a _very_ powerful spell on her." Sam looked over at her,

"She did this because she has no soul?"

"The only emotion I could sense was rage... It was almost crippling."

"You're an empath?" She gave Dean an incredulous look,

"I don't know Mr. Anxiety, am I? So many different emotions are coming off of you. Let's start with..." Her eyes widened, "grief." There was so much of it, what had happened since she last saw him?

"Grief? Dean what is she talking about?" Dean looked at the ground,

"She doesn't know what she's saying. She read me wrong," he got up and walked out. In truth he was grieving, regardless of what he had told Buffy he was distraught. He finally had the life he dreamed of, a wife and kids. He had wanted another baby and now they couldn't. He wouldn't expect anyone to handle that well. Sarah ran after him,

"Dean, wait! I'm sorry!" She called,

"You really had to do that?" He asked as he turned around.

"No... I didn't," she felt horrible. Even worse was the urge to grieve with him.

"Then why the hell did you do that?!"

"Because I have a big mouth and I am really impulsive. I can go in there and make everyone forget what they heard if you want me to, but grief like that... You shouldn't be alone in. What happened?" He sighed and sat down,

"We can't have anymore me kids. Me and Buffy."

"Why not?"

"Her uterus is twisted to the point that they said if we tried again it would end up in either a miscarriage, still birth or she'd die delivering... They said it's likely the egg wouldn't attach anyway. It's just, I finally have that life, perfect wife, amazing kids, an actual home. A place I know I can come back to after a hunt. We wanted more kids then she had bad hemorrhaging and then they found that... I guess I'm just takin' it pretty hard."

"Dean, I am not going to give you hope, but if her uterus is that twisted and she carried twins to term without having to have a C-section and carrying another baby to term and having a C-section I'd say you and Buffy were meant to have kids. I don't believe in destiny or fate or any of the bullshit, but what I do believe is that if you weren't meant to do something it wouldn't happen... So don't lose hope just yet, remember she's a Slayer too." She walked away, Dean then wondered what the hell just happened. He had just poured his heart out to someone he really didn't care for.

* * *

 _ **In Hell**_

A scream echoed through the halls,

"Is that the best you've got, Red!" Faith screamed at her, Willow moved her hand slowly downward and burn marks appeared along a the trail her hand moved. She made a fist and all of Faith's bones snapped. "That tickled!"

Willow shrugged and walked up to Faith.

"Wanna see a neat trick?"

"Give it your best shot," Willow placed a hand on Faith's chest. Faith began to scream in pain. "I made it myself a few minutes ago. It's a thousand tiny little knives that cut up the insides of your body. They are really hot too. And if I twist my wrist," she demonstrated and Faith's stomach cavity burst open. "Oh look, confetti!" Faith slumped, "no, wake up." Willow snapped her finger and Faith was made whole again.

"What do you want from me?!"

"Nothing, but Crowley want's a new torturer and he said I'm not cut out for it. I'm better at diplomacy anyway."

"I am not gonna cave!" Willow snapped her fingers and bamboo shoots appeared underneath all of Faith's ribs. She then placed her hand on the side of Faith's head.

"I have a few new spells I have been waiting to try." Faith felt like a fire was lit inside her body. She began to scream and flail which only pushed the spears in deeper.

"Stop! Make it stop!"

* * *

Buffy punched the steel door,

"Let me out!" She screamed, she kicked it. "Let me out!" Dean went up to the window,

"Not happening sweetheart."

"Dean, I swear to god if you don't let me out of here I'm gonna-"

"You're gonna what? Bust outa there? Kill me?" He taunted, she punched the door again and he jumped a little when it dented.

"Oh, I will get out of here. And when I do I am going to cut your throat." She growled,

"You won't be getting out anytime soo, right Sarah?"

"Signa ostium quasi lapis." Buffy heard a loud sound that sounded like concrete setting. She punched it again and screamed when it lacerated her knuckles. She looked back at the door and realized there was a thick layer of stone.

"No!" She screamed and she began to hit the stone, "I said let me out!"

"Ledo retro," Sarah muttered and when Buffy hit the stone again she soared backwards.

* * *

Giles dropped Mary, Joyce and little Dean off at Dawn's.

"Where have you been?"

"At Vi's cabin with Sam. Dean picked up Sam and I decided to head home. What's going on?"

"Ethan Rayne has taken Buffy's soul." Dawn's face grew dark,

"That dick bag did what?!"

"I am going to deal with this... Dean knows they are with you." He walked out and got in his car and drove. He knew how Ethan's mind worked better than anyone. His cellphone rang, "yes?"

"Giles?" Vi asked, "listen, Buffy is in the panic room. Whatever you do, do it quick."

"What the devil is going on?"

"Well, the short version, Sarah cast a spell that turned the cell to rock and Buffy is punching through the rock." Buffy could be heard screaming in the background, "hurry, we are getting to the point we are gonna have knock her out... Again." She hung up, Giles sighed and pulled up to an old abandoned where house.

He walked in and he sighed,

"Let me go you son of bitch!" He heard Buffy yell, he walked toward the sound.

"I already told you, love. I can't do that, not until those Winchester's are dead." Giles stepped into the room and cleared his throat. "Hello, Ripper."

"Ethan," Giles said.

"How good of you to stop by, but I have things to attend to." Giles nodded and punched Ethan in the face before slamming his elbow down on the back of his neck.

"Release her,"

"No," he bit out. Giles heal stomped his hand before kneeing him in the side of the face.

"I said release her," this went on for minutes.

"Okay! Okay... When I release you get to your body."

* * *

Buffy finally broke through the rocks and she kicked the door open.

"Someone get her!" Dean yelled, Vi rushed over and backhanded Buffy.

"You don't want to do this Vi," Vi produced a dagger.

"No, I don't. But I will do what I have to." Buffy charged her and Vi stepped out of the way. "Buffy, don't make me hurt you," she begged. Buffy kicked her in the stomach, Vi spun with the dagger she slashed down and made a cut across Buffy's cheek. Dean tried to jump in but Buffy nailed him in the crotch,

"It's not like you're gonna need those anymore." Buffy said with a laugh, Vi punched her in the stomach and the dagger went through Buffy's arm. She screamed and punched Vi in the face before she rammed the dagger through Vi's shoulder and then kicked her away, she turned to Dean.

* * *

"What do I do when I get back to my body?" Buffy asked, "Giles where is my body?"

"At the Council building."

"Make physical contact." Ethan said, Giles kicked him in the side of the head, "The minute I break the circle we will no longer be able to see you." He crawled over to the circle and cut his palm before placing it on the roses. They burst into flames and Buffy disappeared.

* * *

Buffy slammed Dean against the wall,

"I am done with you," she said. Dean couldn't see. One of his eyes was completely swollen shut and the gash on his for head was bleeding into the other one.

"Buffy, please." Vi tackled her away and Dean slid down the wall. Other Slayers jumped in and he heard loud gasping and the thud of a body.

"Buffy, stop!" Vi screamed,

"Get out of my way Vi!" Buffy bellowed, Vi punched her in the face and the elbowed Buffy in the sternum. She brought Buffy's head to her knee and then snapped Buffy wrist before using the momentum and slamming her into the wall.

"Buffy, I will put you down." Vi said,

"You cunt!" Buffy screamed,

"With a capital C," Vi said and kicked her in the face. Buffy went unconscious,

"Sarah!" Vi screamed, Sarah ran in. "Why didn't you help?" Vi asked,

"My magic is drained, it took a lot of effort to hold the spell for as long as I did. That's why she got out." Vi nodded,

"Look, I get it, you aren't Willow." All Sarah could feel was grief, "Chou-ann is dead." Vi said,

"Did Buffy do it?" Vi nodded and a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Yes," Vi said quietly. Sarah shed a few tears,

"Dean, let's get you fixed up." When there was no response they both looked over,

"Dean?" Vi asked, "get him to the infirmary now!"

* * *

Buffy found her body, she reached out and touched it. Her eye's opened slowly.

"Stay down!" Vi barked,

"Vi? Why does my wrist hurt? Where's Dean?" Everything that happened since she was soulless rushed back to her and she screamed.

"Buffy?" Vi asked, "are you you?"

"I killed Chou-ann." Buffy sobbed, she got off the ground and cradled her wrist. "Where's Dean?" She asked quietly, Vi didn't say anything. "Vi, where is Dean?"

"In the infirmary... We're doing everything we can." Buffy felt her heart sink. She ran into the infirmary and saw Sarah looking over Dean. His body was badly bruised. She barely recognized his face.

"Oh god," Buffy cried.

"Buffy, he's going to be okay," Sarah said. She was confident that the mark would heal him.

"How do you know!" Buffy screamed, Buffy then looked down as a purple glow washed over him. His eyes fluttered open.

"Buffy?" He asked,

"You're okay," she sobbed. "You're okay," she leaned down and kissed him.

* * *

Giles pulled up to the Council building and pulled Ethan out of the car. He dragged him through the doors and the sight he was greeted with made him seethe. Chou-ann's body was on the ground. Buffy had a cast on her wrist and Vi had a few god sized bruises.

"Ethan!" He bellowed,

"Please, Ripper. You won't kill me." He said with certainty. Buffy walked over and took the dagger out of Chou-ann's neck. She walked right up to Ethan and stabbed him in the stomach.

"You're right, he won't kill you. I will," she twisted the dagger and drug it upwards and it cut his inside. Blood dripped from his mouth. "That's for Chou-ann you son of a bitch." She ripped the dagger out and he fell to the ground gasping for breath. Some of the Slayers went to help him.

"Don't, he should die like the animal he is." She watched as he bled to death. Dean put an arm around her, he moved with her and she spat on his body. "Get him out of here." Buffy said, she didn't look as he was dragged away.

"Baby, let's go home." Buffy nodded,

"We need to drop some things off for Dawnie." Buffy said quietly,

"Okay," after an hour they finally settled in and Buffy cried in his arms.

"I killed her, Dean!"

"You weren't you," he said.

"I still remember it... Dean I have never killed a human and I just killed someone. One of the girls... One of the few Slayers that made it out of Sunnydale is dead because of me."

"You killed, Ethan."

"He wasn't human... He may have looked liked one, acted like one and bled like one... But his soul wasn't human and I guarantee you Crowley has new patron." Buffy said, her voice bitter. Buffy felt more tears escape her. "We've had a real shitty couple days, huh?" She asked with a strained laugh,

"Yup," Dean said popping the "p". Buffy laid her head against his chest,

"I can't believe she's gone, Dean... I can't believe I killed one of the girls." She whispered, she ended up crying herself to sleep.

* * *

The next day Buffy sat at the island drinking a cup of coffee.

"Hey," Sam said sitting next to her. She went to move away, "Buffy, wait."

"How can you even look at me? I almost killed you, I almost killed Dean, I killed Chou-ann. I'm a monster."

"You think that's bad?" Sam asked, she stopped completely and turned around. "Do you know how many humans me and Dean have killed because we stabbed them with Ruby's knife? Do you know how many people I killed when I was running around with out a soul last year?"

"It doesn't change anything," Buffy insisted.

"Yes, it does!" Sam said, "you will carry that with you, forever. But not a single person is going to blame you for what happened because you weren't you."

"... I blamed you," Buffy said. "When Dean called for help when you were on the demon blood... I blamed you, Sam."

"But I was me. I was doing all of that with a soul and a normal brain."

"I could have stopped myself," Buffy said.

"No you couldn't have. No one is holding it against you Buffy, when we found out you didn't have a soul we were prepared for the worst. That's why Sarah put so many spells on that room you were in. We knew you were going to be dangerous."

"It doesn't matter," Buffy whispered. "I'm going to hell for this." Sam's brow creased,

"No you aren't because you made a mistake."

* * *

Buffy laid staring at the ceiling. She wasn't on the couch, she wasn't in her recliner or on the bed. She had laid down in the middle of the floor and glared at the ceiling. Dean had tried to get her to move but she insisted she belonged there. Because that's where trash belonged.

"Buffy, get up." Dean said,

"No," Buffy said like a child. Dean sighed and yanked her off the ground, "no!" She screamed,

"Yes!"

"What do you want?" She asked,

"Put on something warm and get out to the car," he said.

"But Dea-"

"Now!" Her eye's widened and she made her bottom lip quiver, "not gonna work. Go get ready." Buffy glared at him and walked out of the room.

"Stupid," she grumbled. "Put on something warm," she mocked. "Fucking asshole," she murmured.

"I hard everything," Dean said coming up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and placed a kiss on her neck. "You need to get out of the house. For one hour," he said.

"But we have a really comfy bed!"

"That you didn't give a shit about five minutes ago." He reminded her, "Buffy," he pouted. "Please?" He made his pout grow bigger and she sighed.

"Fine," he smiled and kissed her.

* * *

Buffy got out of the car and looked at the park.

 _"Dean?" Buffy called, she waddled over to the edge of the water and looked out over it. The sun was just setting and the brilliant red's and orange's reflected off the ice of the frozen pond._

 _"Buffy," Buffy turned around and she felt her breath catch. He was kneeling before her, a ring in his hand. "I love you with everything that I am... I don't know if it's too early to be doing this but it feels like I've waited forever. I love you, more than life itself. I'd die for you... Will you marry me?" Buffy covered her mouth with her hands, she nodded and held out her hand. He slipped the ring on her finger and stood before leaning down to kiss her._

 _"You're stuck with me," he whispered in her ear._

 _"And I wasn't before?" She asked with a laugh. She looked up in his eyes,_

 _"I love you," he said._

 _"I love you too," he leaned his forehead against hers._

Buffy was pulled from the memory when she and Dean sat on the bench that over looked the water.

"Why are we here?" She asked,

"When you were terrified because the twins were gonna come any day, I took you here. Then I proposed, then a week later on Christmas we got the best present's anyone could ask for." Buffy nodded,

"I know,"

"It's also where you took me two months after Sammy went to hell. Because I needed to "get out of the house."" She laid her head against his shoulder, "this is the place I took you for lunch right after we first said I love you."

"I still don't understand why you took me here." She said, she moved her head off his shoulder to look at him.

"Because, it's all good memories. You did something that wasn't in your control, baby. You need to forgive yourself." She shook her head and stood up,

"It's not that easy, Dean... You above all people should know what I am going through." She turned to walk away and he stood up.

"You're right, I do... And I blame myself every single day. The first seven months we were together I was a barely functioning alcoholic."

"Then we had the girls," Buffy said.

"Yes, and our kids would never look at you any different because of something you couldn't control." Buffy didn't say anything, she just looked out over the pond. The colors of winter were almost bland, the whites and grey's almost blending together. But there was something almost peaceful about it.

Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment as she breathed in deeply. They were right, it was a burden she was going to carry for the rest of her life. It didn't make it in any easier, thinking about when she fought off the nights of Byzantium when they were after Dawn. They may have looked like human's and died like them but they were mystical. Anything human about them was erased when inducted into that order.

She opened her eyes and gazed up at Dean. He looked fine but she could see hints of worry etched on his features. Where did she go from here? There really wasn't a spell that could make that burden go away. Willow tried it once after leaving Sunnydale and it didn't work. She may have not remembered actually killing warren but that guilt still existed.

She had to wonder how Dean and Sam dealt with it. She had seen them kill humans to get to the demon's with that nifty knife. Was it as simple as at the end of everyday getting shitfaced and forgetting it? Or was it something more? Dean didn't drink nearly as much as he did two years prior but the man still loved his alcohol. She came to the conclusion that he and Sam drank to feel numb. Because excepting what they had to do on a daily basis was too much.

"I have to try though," Buffy said quietly. "My mind wants me to run away from all of this... Isolate, and I can't afford to do that. We have a huge problem to deal with. The Leviathan, and I really can't afford to shut down. We also have three kids who need their mother." Dean leaned down and kissed her gently.

"Let's go home," he suggested.


End file.
